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Slayers Excellent #2

"The Dreaded Future"

[an error occurred while processing this directive]「恐ろべき未来」

Lina's NOT eating at the beginning of this episode. Remember that, it'll be on the test. Instead, she's paired with a red-haired girl, and confronted with a swarm of bandits. Battle ensues, and the red-haired girl is shown standing atop the bandit leader, her laughter bearing an eerie resemblance to that of Naga.

"But Shilene, you didn't DO anything!" Lina protests. According to the flashback which shows next, Lina was hired by Admiral Fittsmeyer to find his lost daughter, Shilene, and escort her back home. She got tricked into thinking the gold coins were her payment, when half of said "payment" was actually supposed to be used for his daughter's personal use.

And boy, does she use it. Raised under the impression that anything she wants is automatically hers, Shilene whines and moans and makes life a living hell for Lina, who just wants to complete her assignment. Shilene expects Lina to be her personal servant, rather than just an escort-bodyguard, and thinks that taking her fancy places such as a hot spring is doing Lina a favor.

At the mentioned hot spring, they encounter a peeping tom, who Lina effortlessly fries, and Shilene once again steps on and taunts. Lina starts arguing with Shilene's credit-mongering, and in the midst of the argument, the peeping tom runs away. "We could've turned him in for a big reward!" Lina protests, to which Shilene seems wholly unconcerned.

A day or two later, we hear Shilene complaining about the weight of her newly-acquired purchases, unable to understand why Lina's still so upset, or why Shilene has to carry her giant stone statue around. Lina explains it to her, but turns her back for a moment and Shilene wanders into a restaurant, famished.

Shilene orders the most expensive meal, but Lina chops it down to the cheapest, since Shilene's nearly exhausted her stipend. Shilene, naturally, blames it on low-class Lina, rambling on to herself about how she might write back to her dad and say that she'd been kidnapped, so that he would send ransom money to her so-called kidnappers, and that way she'd have money again. (Never mind the LYING involved, girl...)

Lina seems to think that's a pretty good idea, though. Too good. She sneaks out in the middle of the night and attacks some thugs. and after pounding the message of fear into the poor bandits, makes a deal with them. She wants them to "kidnap" Shilene and bring her back to her father so that she doesn't have to deal with the whiny snob any more. She gives the money from Fittsmeyer to the thugs as encouragement for completing the mission, thinking, "No reward is worth putting up with her!" And then she merrily skips off.

The next day, everything goes as planned. The bandits attack, and Lina kicks Shilene towards them, mentioning, "Hey, isn't that what you asked for yesterday?" and runs off. The bandits then proceed to take her home, making Shilene think that she's actually been kidnapped.

Lina's enjoying her first meal alone afterwards, when Naga walks in, making fun of Lina's food. They chat for a moment, and Naga talks about how she recently ran into a band of kidnappers carrying a girl with an impressive laugh. Lina thinks on that for a moment, and when Naga flaunts the prize she "liberated" from the bandits, in Lina's own patchwork money pouch, she realizes what happened - just when the bandits she spoke of walk into the diner. Yep, they're the ones all right - Naga took out the fake kidnappers.

So now, they've got to search for Shilene now. An evil magician seems to have taken control, and Lina and Naga track him down to an isolated cave. They find Shilene, but he refuses to release her. Oh, and Lina recognizes him to be the peeping tom from the hot springs earlier. Lina says, "You were pulling the strings all along, weren't you?" He says no, and that there's another answer for why he kidnapped her:

"She kept stepping on my head like this and that!"

"So you're saying this is just revenge?"

"No, that's not it! You still don't understand?!"

By this point, Shilene's woken up, and now the magician is acting like her personal manservant. Shilene even stomps on his head - but worse, he seems to enjoy it, freaking out Lina and Naga. Lina says that they came to take Shilene back, but Shilene doesn't want to go - she sends the magician, Alphonse, to go out and dispose of the betrayers.

So Lina and Alphonse go on about their magical battle, while Naga marches right up to Shilene and starts a taunting match. It ends with Shilene getting upset and throwing a slap...

*SMACK* Shilene's on the floor, since Naga smacked her first.

... she liked it.

Apparently, no one ever hit her before - she now looks up to Naga as her personal adviser, much to Lina's chagrin. Sadly, Alphonse chooses Naga as his adviser, too.

Lina's still supposed to take them back, though, since the bandits couldn't, meaning that she's got to tag along while Naga teaches them her ways. Yes, ALL of her ways, right down to the spiky shoulder pads, entirely too-revealing costume, and bloodcurdling laugh, which both Shilene and Alphonse duplicate with frightening accuracy. Lina shudders to herself: "If this keeps up, the entire world will be painted full of Naga-lookalikes... I can see it now... the dreaded future that cannot happen..."

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